You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids: growing children (Psychology: Human Development Book 1)

The One And Only Parenting Advice Book You Will Need! Why? Because it tells you that you need not listen to the parenting experts [including me.] I call myself the anti-expert expert. Ask yourself: Who is raising your child or children? You? Me? The books? I see reviews of parenting books that blast them because they do not spell out what to do when, or tell you exactly how to play with your children, or what exactly to say to them under specific circumstances. If that is what you are looking for – this is NOT the book for you!! Please do not buy it! Your child is yours! Not mine! Not the other authors or your parents, in-laws, neighbors and concerned others. Yes, many of us would step in if we see you acting dangerously – but I doubt you’d be reading this far if you were not a concerned, caring, thinking parent or parent-to-be. From the book: "When I talk to parents and parents-to-be they often say they worry... Worry about doing the "right" thing Worry about their child's future Worry about their own life now that parenting is upon them...or about to be upon them I am often asked: What do you do when x occurs? What do you do to get [child] to do [x]? Do you reward? Punish? If so – for what? How do you reward or punish? Do you time out, ignore, etc. It’s a long list of questions when you fill in the blanks – and there are no specific answers that I can give you... For each question asked, I pose back a whole lot more: Why do you ask? What about the situation is important for your child? What about the situation is important for you? Is this your issue or the child’s? What else is going on in your home? What else is going on at work? Is this issue worth a big fight? In the long run - is it really that important?" As my son so often says – I don’t give answers – I give lots of information, advice, ask questions and let you know about potential consequences. You then make intelligent decisions based on all this plus your own life and situation! And if you choose to ignore the information – you know what the consequences are! I did this as a therapist; I do it as a professor, a coach and an author. I can’t really tell you how to live your life or raise your kids – you are not me and I am not you! I raised my son this way and he is now one fine, thinking, concerned-about-the-world adult! Did I make “mistakes” along the way? Of course I did! I’m human! And yes - even knowing the consequences - I behaved in ways I advise against. [I add that my mistakes never put anyone in harms way physically – but they might have done so emotionally.] Did we come out ok? Yes! Why? Because at the heart of parenting is the communication between you and your child - and as I write in the book: "Do you feel overwhelmed? I should hope so. Having a child is a major undertaking; one that often leaves you wondering on a daily basis did I do the right thing, did I make a mistake, how will this affect my kid? Slow down. Kids are pretty resilient. You can change. Your child can change. You can always make it better tomorrow - or even later today. A hug, kiss, smile, touch or saying I love you goes a long way in countering any “mistakes” you think you made.