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If Only Someone Had Told Me: Wickedly Straight Talk About Parenting Kids Ages 0-5

Penned By Helen Waters
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4.85
25,140 Global Ratings
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If Only Someone Had Told Me: Wickedly Straight Talk About Parenting Kids Ages 0-5

Penned By Helen Waters
4.85 25,140 Ratings
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Editor's Note:
If Only Someone Had Told Me is a blunt, sardonic, BFF survival guide to parenting in the early years. Written by two working mothers living in Palo Alto and keeping it real, Chara Burnett and Helen Waters expose the unexpectedly turbulent realities of raising young children in a metro area. Hair-raisingly hilarious, the authors lay bare the ‘shocking and unmentionable’ – from family finances to preschool interviews, head lice to food allergies – while offering perspective, tips and practical advice. This book is meant to prepare and validate new parents, and reassure them that they are not alone. TABLE OF CONTENTS 1. Your Vision of Parenting –– #onebighallucination 2. 10 Shock-And-Disbeliefs 3. Your Marriage: Par-TAY is Ovah! 4. Where Did the Day Go? 5. The New Family Budget: You’re Broke for Good 6. Preschool Is A Racket 7. Work/Life Balance – The Joke That Gets No Laughs 8. Your Child ≠ A Very Short Adult 9. Nature (7) vs. Nurture (2) – Top of the 9th 10. That Thing You’re Having … Is Called A Midlife Crisis 11. Head Lice Aren’t Nice. And They’re Probably Crawling On Your Scalp Right Now. 12. Think You Don’t Have Food Allergy Problems? Think Again. 13. The 11th Commandment: Thou Shall Not Call Any Kid “Mean” or “Bully” 14. Bringing It Home: Our Final Top Ten 15. Tips

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Length N/A Pages
Language Eng
Released April 1, 2015
Identifier (ISBN) 25294361
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More By Helen Waters


Helen Waters
The Mind Behind the Work
Helen Waters

Helen Waters is the author of several novels. Originally from the East Coast, they now live in the Midwest with family. In addition to writing, Helen Waters enjoys gardening, cooking, and reading way past bedtime. Their work often explores the complexities of everyday life and human relationships.

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4.85
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Sarah Miller
Sarah Miller October 09, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
Deborah Wilson
Deborah Wilson September 11, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
Sponsored Placement
Emily Perez
Emily Perez December 20, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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Joshua Hill December 01, 2024
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall."
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Kevin Taylor
Kevin Taylor March 10, 2025
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Kevin Hill December 13, 2025
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
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Patricia Thompson
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Elizabeth Turner
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Andrew Gomez
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"Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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William Lee
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
George Collins
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars."
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"A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall."
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"A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel."
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"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars."
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"A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"I find myself somewhat conflicted. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes."
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"Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Carol Young
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"Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Richard Perez
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"Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Sharon Sanchez
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
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Robert Nelson
Robert Nelson April 14, 2024
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
Karen Thompson
Karen Thompson March 06, 2025
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me."
Kenneth Mitchell
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"Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Steven Hall
Steven Hall February 01, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Thomas White
Thomas White December 13, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars."
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Nancy Carter June 23, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars."
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Ryan Sanchez March 10, 2025
"I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem."
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"Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
George Perez
George Perez February 05, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem."
George Phillips
George Phillips July 10, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
David Diaz
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"A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
George Campbell
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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Amanda Allen August 13, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
Eric Green
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"I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Nancy Thompson
Nancy Thompson June 14, 2024
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel."
Kenneth Hill
Kenneth Hill July 02, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Jessica Moore
Jessica Moore May 23, 2025
"Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Kevin Gomez
Kevin Gomez May 05, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
Kevin  Davis
Kevin Davis August 10, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
Barbara Brown
Barbara Brown September 29, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars."
Mark  Parker
Mark Parker May 19, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars."
George Thomas
George Thomas October 15, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
David Wilson
David Wilson May 13, 2025
"A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
Jessica Johnson
Jessica Johnson January 22, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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