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What Do You Do With a Chocolate Jesus?: An Irreverent History of Christianity (Volume 0)

Penned By Thomas Quinn
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4.85
39,985 Global Ratings
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What Do You Do With a Chocolate Jesus?: An Irreverent History of Christianity (Volume 0)

Penned By Thomas Quinn
4.85 39,985 Ratings
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Editor's Note:
"What Do You Do with a Chocolate Jesus?" is a funny, skeptical, but authentic exploration of the Christian history they don’t teach in Sunday school. It finds humor, irony, and occasional insight amid the inconsistencies, absurdities, hypocrisies, and flat out weirdness that too often passes for eternal truth. Think of it as a history of religion as done by The Daily Show. Pitting actual Scripture against pious propaganda, Thomas Quinn treks through chapter and verse of the New Testament, explores the sordid saga of medieval beliefs (including End-of-the-World panics and fights about what kind of stuff Jesus was made of), and reveals some of the shocking attitudes of America’s founders toward religion. It isn’t always pretty, but it’s usually good for a laugh. If war is too important to leave to the generals, religion is too important to leave to the preachers. Skeptics need evangelists, too.

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Length N/A Pages
Language Eng
Released 2010
Identifier (ISBN) 7648281
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Thomas     Quinn
The Mind Behind the Work
Thomas Quinn

Thomas Quinn is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Thomas Quinn can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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Elizabeth Scott
Elizabeth Scott November 28, 2025
"Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
Donald Ramirez
Donald Ramirez May 16, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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Linda Walker
Linda Walker January 13, 2025
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me."
Matthew Lewis
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"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Anthony Nelson
Anthony Nelson January 21, 2024
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Michael Williams
Michael Williams June 02, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars."
Rebecca  Parker
Rebecca Parker April 22, 2024
"Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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Brian Lewis September 11, 2025
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Sandra Smith
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem."
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"Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem."
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"I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
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"Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars."
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"I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
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"Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem."
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars."
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"I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"An acceptable diversion. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perfectly average."
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Patricia Martin February 28, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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Kevin Mitchell April 13, 2024
"I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars."
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"I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Paul Reyes
Paul Reyes March 09, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars."
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"An acceptable diversion. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time."
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Susan Phillips April 25, 2024
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
Mark Ramirez
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Jessica Perez
Jessica Perez March 01, 2025
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Elizabeth Evans
Elizabeth Evans October 28, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars."
Betty Lee
Betty Lee May 16, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Donald Lopez
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
Emily Jackson
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"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
Nancy Scott
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"A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall."
Rebecca Thompson
Rebecca Thompson February 29, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading."
Melissa Robinson
Melissa Robinson March 09, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars."
Elizabeth Scott
Elizabeth Scott April 28, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars."
Gary Nelson
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
Linda Cruz
Linda Cruz November 05, 2024
"I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"A decent, if standard, experience. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty."
Lisa  Parker
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars."
Susan Phillips
Susan Phillips December 22, 2024
"A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel."
Daniel Garcia
Daniel Garcia March 04, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading."
Paul Collins
Paul Collins October 18, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
Margaret Campbell
Margaret Campbell August 03, 2025
"I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
Kimberly Hall
Kimberly Hall April 04, 2025
"A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Thomas Ramirez
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"Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
James Sanchez
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"Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Gary Nelson
Gary Nelson June 19, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Sarah Green
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"A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
John Torres
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
Kimberly Adams
Kimberly Adams October 28, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Ashley White
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"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Edward Taylor
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"I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Deborah Torres
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"A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Emily Jackson
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Sharon King
Sharon King September 14, 2025
"I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Rebecca Lopez
Rebecca Lopez October 29, 2024
"A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Sandra Robinson
Sandra Robinson August 13, 2025
"I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Kevin Campbell
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"A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall."
Thomas Adams
Thomas Adams April 30, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars."
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson May 08, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Jennifer Hill
Jennifer Hill November 01, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
Brian Lewis
Brian Lewis April 12, 2024
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Brian Phillips
Brian Phillips January 08, 2024
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me."
Deborah Campbell
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me."
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